Woo! I'm enjoying the sun, the vacation, and the sister here in pensacola. It's nice to be able to relax without worrying about work, school, paying bills, or cleaning the apt. I refuse to let any of that mess up my vacation. When I get home, I'll tackle that, one step at a time.

I heard from my matt today, he's tired and frustrated but staying focused, apparently things have been shaken up over there lately. I am just trying to be patient...

Something I've always wondered... on all these cop shows, CSI, Law & Order, etc... when the police are questioning a suspect, that person always ends the conversation abruptly by saying something like "Now if you don't mind, I have work to do." or "I'm going to be late for an important meeting, so this conversation is over." Uhm... wtf? when in the real world does the suspect get to end the conversation? I find it unlikely that so many people would just blow off the cops like that. whatev. tv.

bedtime. I have a busy day of collecting seashells, eating seafood, and shopping with mom & sister tomorrow. :)

I'm not too bothered by spending this holiday alone.  In fact, I won't really be alone, but I won't be celebrating Jesus Day either. I'm going to meet up with a bunch of classmates tomorrow to help boost cynthia's spirits because she was diagnosed with breast cancer this week. Luckily, they caught it really early, so they're pretty optimistic, though. 

I have nothing to eat in my house, so I ate wheat thins for dinner. I refuse to go to the grocery store, since I'm leaving on tuesday and will be gone for a week. And I've sworn off fast food, since matt's coming home in ten weeks. It looks like tomorrow I'll be having a can of corn and some craisins. Mmmmm :)

I worked my last full week at learning land. From now on, until they find a replacement, I will be working Mondays & Tuesdays only. That's a relief, because that place was driving me insane. And in a week and a half, I get to start my internship! Hooray! 

Oh, and did I mention that MATT IS COMING HOME IN TEN WEEKS?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?!??!?!!??!!

If the democratic party doesn't put barack on the ballot, I'm voting for this candidate: http://www.mollythedog2008.com/  

 I refuse to "get used to" people dying. I know people die, I'm well aware of this. I'm grateful I made it so far into my life without seeing a dead body. But no matter how old I get, or how many funerals I go to, or how many friends I console, I don't ever want to be accustomed to death. It's like saying "eh, that's just another baby" - but it's not. Someone MADE that human life. And while babies and death are both topics that I generally like to steer clear of, I also think that they both deserve some respect and reverence. I will never understand it and don't want to "accept" it. I always want it to hit me just as hard each time, because each time it's different. Not having a religion or faith doesn't bother me, but I feel the need to find a way to express my respect and emotions about life events like these.


Now that I've got the sentimental philosophical crap off my chest, when driving through southern missouri (and when you drive through southern missouri, you have to say "suth'n mizzur-ah"), I realized that llama farms and recliners on roofs were all too common an occurrence. I know I claim to love the midwest (not you, kansas, go fuck yourself), but sometimes driving through really rural areas of mizzurah or indiana or iowa (right tim?), I am equally as frightened for my life and soul as I am driving through the ghetto of cabrini green. Deliverance, anyone? 

I gave notice to my job that I'll be quitting in 3 weeks (with the option to work 2 days a week until they hire someone if they haven't done so already, since that'll fit in OK with my internship), and I'll be starting my internship in april. That means that, yet again, my life will be drastically changing. I'm afraid that I'll get USED to this kind of upheaval every 12-15 months, and when I finally settle into a job that I like or buy a house, I'll get stir crazy after a year or two and need to turn everything topsy-turvy. I have no idea how to prevent or prepare for this, though. 

Also need to mention: FOUR AND A HALF FUCKING MONTHS, MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :)

 

OK, so I'm posting this because I feel like others need to understand the true nature of my work environment. 

Background: This is our school-age teacher, who works down the hall from me. She was born with her left arm cut off at the elbow. 

So she comes into my office one day, waving this little amputated baby doll arm that she'd tucked into her sleeve. And if that wasn't disturbing enough, she was playing around with the kids, having them give the little doll arm high-fives and toss it around and stuff. 

This is in a child care center. Where people pay to have their children taken care of in an educational, caring environment. 

I am so glad I only have a month or so left, because this is the LEAST annoying aspect of my job right now. It is, however, on my list of Top 5 Weirdest Things to Happen at My Job. (I'm not sure whether or not to rank it above or below "Man in Dog Costume on Rollerblades" and "Rat Dies in Air Duct, Boss Solves Problem with Scented Pine Cones")

OMG. 

I just found out that Sir Mix-a-lot lives in Auburn, which is right in between where I live & where I work. I'm really not much of a celebrity person, but c'mon - SIR MIX-A-LOT. That's crazy! In some random little town in washington! Apparently, he's really down-to-earth and plays pool at this place in Kent a lot. (according to my coworker, who grew up down the street from him)

W.T.F. 


Happy V.D. 

 I have decided that I am not allowed to panic about my internship situation until March. It's just not allowed to happen. No panicking allowed. At all. Until march. 

I got a couple really really good emails from matt last week. Usually, all I get is a three sentence update/progress report. But I admitted to him that I'm freaking out about the status of my life in the near future, and he wrote replied and really set me back on track. I don't know how, because it's not anything he says or does that I can pinpoint, but somehow, even 8000 miles away, that man can center me and make me feel more like myself. 

I exercised today, and then took a 4-hour nap. I thought that exercising was supposed to give you energy...? Oh well.